1st Shot

So this brings us to our 1st IUI.  I guess I should back track a little and say yes I am the one trying to carry our baby.  G would like to carry as well but we decided to try with me first.  I have 3 IUIs (lifetime max) covered by my insurance.  G was going through a lot of work changes (new company and new promotions) so it wasn't the best for her to try now not knowing if she could get time off or what insurance she would have. 

I started 50 mg clomid the end of Feb 2011 with high hopes that I was making a lot of eggs.  We had even had the discussion of multiples and what we would do if we got pregnant with 2, 3 or even more.  We had a plan we were comfortable with and agreed with.  Because Dr. G wanted to save on cost for her clients she normally doesn't do ultrasounds (U/S) till day 10 or 11 of the cycle.  This concerned me because they wanted me to buy and have the sperm delivered the day of my U/S.  The sperm cost 900 with shipping so if this cycle had to be cancelled I didn't want to also pay to ship it back and store it.  I called the office to explain this and the nurse told me this was the doctors policy and there was nothing we could do.  So I ordered and had it shipped with a bad feeling.  This caused her to have the nick name "Mean Nurse". 

We went for our U/S on Feb 28th.  I was very nervous and my nightmare came true.  As Mean Nurse is doing the U/S she tells us there is only one follicle in the one ovary (18mm) and the other one has a cyst.  She said she thought the Doc would cancel the cycle.  Of course I was mad and sad.  I told her "I told you so!" and cried.  She said "we can ship the sperm back and try again next month everything will be fine."  I said " no its not fine...it will cost us over 400 dollars to ship it back, store it, and then ship it again...are you going to pay that?"  She left and I sobbed in Gs arms.  I guess Mean Nurse thought we would be following her and when we didn't leave the room she came back in and said "I don't know why you're so upset"  and she was wanting to show us how to do the trigger shot (ovidrel) just in case we did do the IUI.  G went out with her to learn because she knew I wanted to rip the nurse's head off.  You would think a person who deals with hormonal women on a daily basis would be more understanding.  We left and soon the nurse was calling to say the doc wanted to do the IUI.  I wondered if she had told her how upset I was and they were scared not to do it.  G and I talked it over.  We didn't want to waste all the money shipping it, but we didn't want to waste one of our IUI tries.  We decided we would try since we did have one good follicle and it only takes one right? 

G had to give me the trigger shot because I am not good with needles...something which I thought I had explained to G but I guess not!  Mean Nurse told G I had to be sitting up during the shot so that there was something to grab onto to give the shot since I am thin.  I told G I wanted to lay down (again thinking I had told her I faint during shots) but she insisted we do it as we were told.  I remember prepping for the shot then waking up in a sweat with G freaking out on the phone saying something like "I don't know the name of the shot...it was a fertility drug."  She had called 911 thinking she had killed me.  I was able to say ovidrel and that I was okay.  She told them we were okay and they didn't need to come.  G was obviously very worried, but upset I hadn't told her that could happen.  Honestly I thought she knew!!  So to this day she refuses to give me my shots which makes things difficult.

Anyways we go in for the IUI March 3rd.  The doc has me sign papers and shows me our sperm vial with 4034 on it.  Tells me the numbers for it.  I can't remember now, but the sperm count and mobility was good.  We were shocked how little sperm you get for the cost.  Now we had a 2ww (two week wait) before we knew if it worked.  After a week I went for blood work to check my progesterone.  It was good meaning I had ovulated...good news!  Around day 10 I began doing what everyone going through this is told not to do but still does....I started peeing on a stick hoping for a BFP but only saw BFNs.  I was having what I thought was "pregnancy symptoms"  I even googled them every day (again something you shouldn't do but we all do it anyways).  But really how would I know what the symptoms are like I've never been pregnant! I still hadn't gotten my period after 2 weeks so I was still hopeful even after my blood work, but a few hours before I get the results I got my period.  I of course cried even when I got the call with the bad news.  I felt like I had lost a baby....a baby I was never even pregnant with.  G doesn't really show emotion, but of course she was disappointed as well.  The whole 2 weeks we had acted like I was pregnant.  No heavy lifting, no caffeine or alcohol, and G couldn't smoke around me.  She was actually even working on quiting.  We decided to take a month off and make an appt to talk to Dr. G about what we would try next.