Awful "Diet"

So I am still not doing well with this new "diet" to gain weight.  It is hard and now I know what all the "dieters" feel like.  I want sooo much to go back to how I always ate.  Forcing myself to eat things I don't really like and to eat when I am not even hungry is not fun.  So I can understand how people trying to lose weight must feel.  I am guilty for thinking "how hard can it be to diet?"  Well now I am eating those words.  Its Fing hard!!  I just wish I could switch with one of my friends trying to lose weight.  If she ate what I like to eat and I eat what she likes to eat it would work out perfect.  But of course this can't happen =( I miss veggies and fruits soooooo much and I am hating milk and meat more then I did to begin with!

Last weekend G and I went to Philly to visit my sister.  We went to the Zoo, Penns Landing, and South Street.  It was nice to spend time with my sister and get away from home.  Here is a pic of us last weekend!

Today I have to call the doctors office and make the appt for mock transfer and biopsy.  I have been putting it off because they scare me but it needs to be done.  Also I need to make an appt for our education class.  We had this for our IUIs but I guess we need a new one for IVM. 

I have been soooo nervous about spending close to 10,000 on IVM.  I am terrified it won't work and all we will be left with is a huge bill.  I know I can tax deduct it but I am not sure how much that will help us in the end.  We are redoing our front porch and the timing is awful.  Its been something we've wanted to do for awhile and had a contractor look into it more then a year ago.  He is starting work now of course.  I guess when it rains it pours so its more money I will have to borrow. 

Borrowing money freaks me out.  I wasn't brought up that way.  My dad makes good money now but my parents came from poor families and really struggled for a long time when I was little so I saw them try to save money anyway they could.  So I am "cheap" as my dad tells me.  My mom then tells him its because of them that I am. lol They hardly ever borrowed money and never used credit cards the "normal" way.  Mom always used the credit card so she wouldn't have to carry cash but paid it off every month.  I now do the same.  I call it using the credit card companies lol I don't like to have any debit besides my house and car payments...anything else makes me VERY nervous.  My mom jokes and says they didn't pay me off till I was 3 years old! lol They didn't have health insurance so they just made payments.  I keep trying to remind myself of this.  It is really the same idea...they were willing to have me even though they didn't have the money.  It is a little different but the same idea.  G and I will make it work.  I just hope we have a baby at the end of this struggle because that will make all the money spent worth it!