Monday, April 29, 2013

To Marry or not to Marry?

We went to one of the hospitals that our OB office delivers at last Saturday.  This is the hospital we planned on delivering at from the start BUT the OB office is trying to change our minds.  They are attached to a hospital so they would much rather us delivering there.  Why are we not even considering there you might ask??.....well that is because it's a Catholic hospital.  I do not think that is the best place for a same sex couple to deliver at.  The OBs office claims they won't treat us differently there but I have my doubts.  While I am labor I definitely do not want to find out.  So I decided to visit the one we want to deliver at so at my next appt with my midwife (which is tomorrow) I can just say we visited it and love it and that is where we want to deliver.  If she pushes the issue anymore I will point out how stressful it will be for me to deliver at a Catholic hospital and I think she will back down then.  Guess I will find out tomorrow.

We love the hospital and the nurses that we met.  They treated us like any other couple and they also have a NICU.  Which makes me feel better.  I hope we don't need it but if we do it's there.  I asked about the birth certificate and they showed us the paperwork that says "other" parent instead of father.  (We are delivering in NY even tho we live in PA with the hope we will get treated better and that we would have more rights)  We left there soooo happy thinking that G would be able to be on the birth cert from the start.  Since it was a weekend they told me to call back during the week to double check with the nurse who takes care of the birth certs tho.  I called today and got the bad news.  The only way we can both be on the birth cert is if we are married. 

So now that brings me to the title of this Marry or not to Marry??  We have talked about getting married but since I have been married and divorced before I have been avoiding the topic as much as possible.  I say things like "maybe when it's legal in PA"  Now this makes me rethink things some.  If we got married in NY it wouldn't mean anything in PA but to some people that doesn't matter.  I have lesbian friends that are married and live in states it's not legal in.  I do not feel the need to get married....Marriage actually scares me.  But I do want Gs name on the birth cert so she is included in the birth as much as any father would be (even if they weren't genetically the father).  What do you guys think???  I know many of my lesbian mom friends on here are married so I would like your opinion.  I have to talk this over with G tonight but I am trying to get all my feelings straight about it before I do. 

Thursday, April 18, 2013

20 Weeks....

I am actually 21 weeks now but I wanted to give the half way update I am just a little late!! Sorry!! So far we have only bought the travel system, bassinet, and of course clothes!! We think we have picked out the crib that we want but haven't even gotten a chance to work on the baby room yet. We do have the theme for his room. Its going to be stars and monkeys. We just finished remodeling our room so baby room is next!! My mom already has a swing, crib and clothes for her house so she seems to be way ahead of me! lol I think she might be a little excited!

I have started some baby registries online and think we are having the baby shower July 21st but I need to make that official yet. I have some ideas for the shower....yes I am planning it! I am a control freak lol but my mom is going to help me pay for it and she will do the cooking. I will have to do a post with baby shower ideas and see what you guys think!! Our maternity pics our scheduled for June 23rd. Really hoping that is a good time to do them...I didn't want to do them too early or too late!!

Pregnancy seems to be starting to take a toll on me. I have a hard time getting up from couch and body parts go numb very quickly. My back and feet hurt already. I fear what the summer will be like!!

And since I never did one of these I feel its about time....

How far along? 21 weeks 2 days

How big is baby? length of carrot

Total weight gain: 18lbs

Maternity Clothes: Still haven't bought any, but had to go up 6 sizes in pants!

Have you started to show yet? our yea....see pic below lol

Sleep: can't get enough sleep

Best moment this week: continuing to feel him kick and see him move around

Miss Anything? for some reason I am missing wine and cigs (i never drank much and had quit smoking)

Movement: Lots and lots...esp when laying down. He kicks Gs hand every night.

Food Cravings: fudge pops and blue raspberry icees

Anything make you queasy or sick? no not really

Gender prediction: He is a boy

Name: All we know so far is his middle name will be James after my grandfather.

Symptoms: tired, back pain, sore feet

Major purchases this week? just bought some clothes

Looking forward to: seeing more movements in my belly!

Answering these questions made me think about a few other things I hadn't mentioned in detail. One I have been dreaming a lot. Pretty much can remember my dreams every morning. And one dream I have often in smoking or drinking and trying to hide it and someone catching me lol

Also every night G puts her hand on my belly and he kicks her. He seems to like it more when she puts her wrist on my belly. We are thinking this is because he can hear her pulse.

I found a baby book we are going to order. That was a lot harder then I thought...we went to buy one at ToysRus the other day thinking nothing of it till we looked inside and everything said "Daddy". So I looked online and didn't find much. What I did find was very expensive and ugly. But I finally found this one and it seems like everything we are looking for. I haven't seen it in person yet, but when I do I will give you my final opinion. Here is the website if you are interested in finding a baby book for two mommies!

 Here is my 20 week picture with our boxer Konner =)

Monday, April 8, 2013

18 weeks

Well we had our 18 week ultrasound on Friday March 29th and he is definitely a BOY!  There is no doubt.  Also no more placenta placenta moved.  This I am happy about because there could be lots of complications if it hadn't moved but now we don't get another ultrasound till 34 weeks. =(  I was enjoying all the ultrasounds!!  The rest of the Ultrasound went well.  We didn't get any special scans or genetic testing done earlier so we don't know anything for sure but ultrasound tech said all his measurements were good and she didn't see anything that would be a red flag.  So that is good!!

We were sent back out to the waiting room after our ultrasound to wait for the midwife then I got called to the window.  SOur midwife was delivering a baby and they wanted us to come back next week.  Well I asked if we could just come back later that day at first she said no but then changed her mind.  You see we live out in the middle of no where in PA but close to NY.  So we drive over an hour to NY to this OBGYN clinic for a few reasons.  1. because we would have to drive that far no matter what hospital we wanted to deliver at.  2. because NY is more accepting of same sex relationships and 3. midwives are hard to find around here and I want to deliver as naturally as possible.  Which for me as of right now is no induction or pitocin.  I am thinking I will want an epidural tho!  So I explained since it was Friday of a holiday weekend that I wouldn't be able to put in for the time off for next week and we are over an hour away plus my work is over an hour and a half away and she said she could fit us in at 3pm.  It was already after 11 so we went to lunch and baby shopping. 

I have been able to feel him kick since about 17 weeks and G felt him for the first time April 1st (18 weeks).  He kicks her hand every night when we lay down to go to bed.  I am almost 20 weeks now and he kicks me and moves around all the time.  Some days more then others. 

His name hasn't been decided yet.  I have an app on my ipad (Baby Names) that is helping me some.  I really love the app and I have all our favorite names saved but I think he won't have a name for awhile.  It's a big decision!

Now I am trying to figure out when/where/how to do our baby shower and I just booked our maternity pics.  For the baby shower we are thinking July 21st and I am still trying to find a place to have it that won't cost too much.  I am hoping that is not too late to have it (I am due Aug 28th).  It is what works best for everyone and I didn't want to do it around the 4th because people always have plans.  Plus my sister says I need to be big for my shower or it won't be fun! lol I think she is talking more for her entertainment then mine!  Maternity pics are scheduled for June 23rd.  The photographer said we should do them around 7 months and now that I think of it that is probably best because who wants to be huge and uncomfortable in their pics??  I wanna like them!! lol So I told G she needs to find cute tiny sneakers for the pics....that's her job!!  I am going to start searching the web for pic ideas if you have any let me know!!

Now here is what you are probably waiting for.....

18 week ultrasound

17 week belly pic

Another 17 week belly pic

And he is definitely a BOY!!!