We went to one of the hospitals that our OB office delivers at last Saturday. This is the hospital we planned on delivering at from the start BUT the OB office is trying to change our minds. They are attached to a hospital so they would much rather us delivering there. Why are we not even considering there you might ask??.....well that is because it's a Catholic hospital. I do not think that is the best place for a same sex couple to deliver at. The OBs office claims they won't treat us differently there but I have my doubts. While I am labor I definitely do not want to find out. So I decided to visit the one we want to deliver at so at my next appt with my midwife (which is tomorrow) I can just say we visited it and love it and that is where we want to deliver. If she pushes the issue anymore I will point out how stressful it will be for me to deliver at a Catholic hospital and I think she will back down then. Guess I will find out tomorrow.
We love the hospital and the nurses that we met. They treated us like any other couple and they also have a NICU. Which makes me feel better. I hope we don't need it but if we do it's there. I asked about the birth certificate and they showed us the paperwork that says "other" parent instead of father. (We are delivering in NY even tho we live in PA with the hope we will get treated better and that we would have more rights) We left there soooo happy thinking that G would be able to be on the birth cert from the start. Since it was a weekend they told me to call back during the week to double check with the nurse who takes care of the birth certs tho. I called today and got the bad news. The only way we can both be on the birth cert is if we are married.
So now that brings me to the title of this blog.....to Marry or not to Marry?? We have talked about getting married but since I have been married and divorced before I have been avoiding the topic as much as possible. I say things like "maybe when it's legal in PA" Now this makes me rethink things some. If we got married in NY it wouldn't mean anything in PA but to some people that doesn't matter. I have lesbian friends that are married and live in states it's not legal in. I do not feel the need to get married....Marriage actually scares me. But I do want Gs name on the birth cert so she is included in the birth as much as any father would be (even if they weren't genetically the father). What do you guys think??? I know many of my lesbian mom friends on here are married so I would like your opinion. I have to talk this over with G tonight but I am trying to get all my feelings straight about it before I do.