1 month and 2 month update

Well as you can see I have been really bad about blogging.  Rayden is now 8 weeks old so I thought I would just do the 1 month and 2 month update now.  One very late and one a little early lol.  So we are still breast feeding.  In the beginning we did have some trouble with latching on the left side.  Actually he still does sometimes but now we don't struggle as much.  I was really having a hard time (emotionally) early on because all he wanted to do was nurse.  I couldn't even find time to eat or pee let alone some me time!  G was home for the first month but of course couldn't help with that part.  I tried really hard to get her to breast feed by taking the meds etc. before Rayden was born but it was always a big NO!  Anyways we had trouble getting the breast pump from my insurance and G just decided we would just buy one because I really needed to be able to pump ASAP for my own sanity.  We got it and I could finally have some me time and I felt much better!!

Along the way I have struggled with some depression and I am very certain that if G wouldn't have been home for the first month I would had some postpartum depression.  It was really great having the help.  I've had some really down times when I am sure Rayden hates me.  For example last week he was smiling for everyone but me and always seemed to cry near me and I just lost it on Saturday.  I bawled and was sure he hadn't bonded with me and just hated me.  Well Sunday and Monday he smiled for me so then I cried tears of joy.  Man these hormones really mess with ya!!   

Rayden is a big boy now.  Here is how his weight is going.

Born 7lb 11 ozs
5 days old 7lb 1 oz
2 weeks 8 lbs
5 weeks 11lbs
6 weeks 12lbs

He will be 2 months old in 2 days and is wearing 3 month clothes and some 3-6 month stuff.  He grew so fast and didn't get to wear all the clothes we were given.  Soon he will be too big for everything we got for presents and it will be time to go shopping. 

He went to the doctor at 6 weeks because he was sick =(  he still has a cold actually... been hanging on for 2 weeks now.  It just has him stuffed up and really only bothers him at night now.  He was tested for RSV and that was negative. 

G went back to work after 4 weeks and I went back after 6 weeks.  I was ready to be back to work.  I enjoy working.  I know G would rather be home with Rayden tho.  I wish I made enough to support us so she could but I work in social services so that's just not going to happen. 

I finally got Rayden's insurance figured out.  He wasn't able to be put on mine or G's insurance so I applied for CHIP.  Before he was born I researched it and was told after doing all the paperwork it would only take a few days to process.  So I did the paperwork right away and scanned and emailed it right to them figuring in few days he would have insurance.  Weeks passed and they kept telling me next week.  So frustrating and I was worried we wouldn't get accepted and he wouldn't have insurance.  Luckily we got accepted and he has insurance but we do have to pay full price for it.  That's ok its better then paying all his medical bills. 

Rayden is "talking" and playing with his toys some now.  It's so cute.  In the morning he's so happy and smiles and plays while we get ready for work.  My mom watches him while I am at work so that makes going to work easier. 

Question for other lesbian moms....what do you call each other??  We both call each other Mommy to and around Rayden but everyone keeps asking us what our different names will be??  I don't know.  G says wait till he decides but people then say he will go by what we call each other.  So I don't know what to do which is why I am asking you guys lol If it was up to me we would just wait and see but I am tired of the questions lol

Here are some of the professional pics we had done.  It was so hard to get these pictures.  I've heard you are suppose to do them in the first 10 days but our photographer couldn't do them that early.  He was 18 days old when they were done.  He was awake and very cranky.  I was very thankful that we did get a few good ones tho!! 

 

 

Birth Story

Friday Aug 23rd I told everyone I was sure baby boy was gonna be late.  There was no sign of labor anytime soon.  I picked up our nephew for the weekend and went home.  G was working a 14 hour shift and wouldn't be home till close to 4 am.  I fell asleep on the couch while our nephew played video games then we both went to bed.  At 3 am I woke up to what I thought was a contraction then went to pee and found a very small amount of blood.  I texted G but sure it was nothing.  Well I was very wrong.  The contractions kept coming every 5 mins.  I was sure they would slow down or stop because the midwife had told me "every first time mom comes to the hospital way to early.  Labor takes a long time.  Stay at home as long as you can."  So I took my time.  G got home and we both showered.  I spent a lot of time on the floor on my hands and knees rocking making sounds I've never even heard before.  Lol It made me feel better so I did what seemed right.  G called her sis to get our nephew and I called my mom.  Now my mom I guess was as sure as I was that baby boy wasn't coming any time soon because she didn't have a phone anywhere near her.  I called all her and my dads phones multiple times with no answer.  I was not happy and said some choice words I was glad she wasn't able to hear lol anyways she finally answered and hurried to our house.  I called my midwife who was actually on call that weekend and she said to come in as soon as we could.  But we live an hour away from the hospital so it was still gonna be awhile.  I was not worried because I was told over and over it takes a long time.  By the time we got into the car tho I was having contractions 2 mins apart.  G drove as fast as she could and got us there in 45 mins.

It was 6:45am now so we had to go in the ER entrance.  They took my info and called labor and delivery who was suppose to come down and get me.  I was having bad contractions then with only 30 seconds relief in the ER waiting room.  So now picture that....do you think I was quiet?  No definitely not!!!  They are telling me if I don't quiet down they will have to admit me to the ER.  Ummm yea not happening!  So after 20 mins they call up again and they tell me they say "oh yea we have to come get her".  I was not happy!  Finally a nurse comes and I get wheeled up.  As they wheel me by the nurses station one nurse says to take me straight to my room but the nurse pushing me doesn't listen and takes me to what I'm guessing is a triage room.  They tell me to change and pee in a cup.  Well not easy with contractions.  Finally was able to pee in that cup (more to come later about that) and G and I came out of the bathroom.  Then thank god that nurse finally listened and took me to my room.

I get back to my room and my midwife comes in to talk to me.  I am basically yelling for an epidural. I always planned to get one but of course my midwife didn't want me to.  She was ok with it till she checked me tho.  When she checked me I was 8 cms.  I was shocked.  She told me I could have baby boy out quicker then I could get an epidural.  I would have to have blood work and a IV before they would give me one.  I still wouldn't say I didn't want one but I knew I probably wasn't going to get one.  I didn't want to say those words because then I would have someone to blame if labor didn't go fast. Lol My midwife just continued to proceed like I had said I was ok without an epidural.  Which I was happy with I just didn't want to say and accept it.  She broke my water and in no time I was 10 cms and able to push.  She told me I was thru the worst before she broke it.  I didn't believe her at the time but she was right.  When I was pushing I was able to get longer periods of relief in between contractions and pushing wasn't that bad.  The only thing I had trouble with was telling when I should push.  I thought it would be like TV and they would watch the monitor and tell me when to push.  But they didn't and told me their monitors weren't like that.  So many times I was saying I didn't know when to push.  I was so hot so was basically naked the whole delivery lol you really don't care at that point who sees what.  My "best friend" during the delivery was a glove full of ice lol I just couldn't cool down and the ice felt so good.

I finally figured it out and baby boy came not too long after that.  I don't know how long I pushed or how many pushes but no more then an hour when I finally figure it out.  G was up on the bed with me and coached me thru.  Her, my mom, and my midwife kept telling me how well I was doing which helped a ton.  If any partners read this remember that!  We were so happy when he came.  And I was in total shock that I did it naturally!  Never in a million years did I think I would do it naturally.  He was born at 9:43 am ....labor was less then 7 hours....when I was pushing my goal was to deliver him by 9:45 so I succeeded!  He was 7lbs 11ozs 21 inches.  He was and is perfect!

After that I had a hard time delivering the placenta and was hemorrhaging pretty bad so then I got a shot of morphine.  But I told everyone in the room it didn't count because it was after delivery so I still did it naturally.  Lol. Took my midwife a long time to get the bleeding to stop and to get me stitched up.  I did tear.  So after she was part way thru my stitching she wanted the doc to come check me.  Well lets just say that was worse then the delivery!  She was not gentle and it felt like she was ripping me open not checking my stitches.  I was screaming in pain and they had numbed me before doing my stitches.  When the doc left my midwife apologized many times.  She didn't know that doc would treat me like that.

Baby boy (at this time he still wasn't named) started breast feeding right away on the right side.  We struggled the first day with the left but we finally got it.  After I wasn't drugged up anymore we decided to name him Rayden James.  

Sooooo getting back to peeing in the cup.  Well on our last day at the hospital I discover that the pee I was forced to give when I was 8 cms dilated sat on top of the TV stand and was never tested!  

We were in the hospital for more then 2 full days.  We actually would have gotten discharged Monday morning instead of Monday afternoon but we refused to let that doctor who hurt me do Rayden's circumcision on Sunday so we had to wait for that to be done Monday by a different doctor.  We were definitely ready to get home by then.  

Here is G, Rayden, and I (drugged up)

Here we are the day we left the hospital 

At home with his boxer brother Konner

He's Here

Our baby boy decided to come 4 days early.  He was born Aug 24th at 9:43am.  7lbs 11ozs 21 inches. His name is Rayden James.   G and I are so happy!  Here are a few pics!

Birth story coming soon! 

Birth Plan

Here is my Birth Plan.  I think it has everything I need/want in it. 

Amanda’s Birth Plan

*  Want my Wife, G, with me at all times

*  G’s Mom and my mom are welcome in room for labor and birth

          *  Other people as I feel comfortable are welcome during labor depending how I feel

*  Want to be up and moving as long as possible

*  Pain management

          *  Different positions
          *  Bathing or showering
          *  Massage
          *  Birthing ball
          *  Hot and cold packs
          *  Epidural when needed

*  Would like to go without IV as long as possible and be able to drink clear fluids instead

*  DO NOT want Pitocin to speed up labor.  Only want it if medically necessary.  Then still want to talk about it and be part of the decision before it’s given. 

*  Do not want episiotomy unless absolutely needed then I do not want to be told before it’s done. 

*  Want skin to skin contact as soon as possible with Baby Boy but not till after he is cleaned up.  Do not want him put on my bare skin right after birth. 

*  Want to breast feed as soon as Baby Boy wants to.

*  G wants to cut the cord

*  If C-Section is needed
          *  Want G present at all times.
          *  Baby to be given to G as soon as he’s dried and checked out

          *  To breastfeed as soon as Baby Boy is ready

*  All newborn procedures to take place in mine or my wife’s presence (except circumcision)

*  Would like Baby Boy to be with G or me as much as possible

*  Do not offer our baby these without discussing with us first
          *  Formula
          *  Sugar water
          *  Pacifier

*  We want him circumcised at the hospital

*  Since breast feeding would like Lactation consultant to come see us

*  Would like to stay at hospital as long as possible/necessary

Please let me know if you guys think I am missing anything!! 

38 Weeks

Well I am still behind but I am going to try to get all caught up with this post.  I am 38 weeks now and ready for deliver Baby Boy!!  I've got almost all of his things washed and ready.  His room is getting close to being done.  We still have to fix the trim paint, get stuff on the wall and buy a few things but there is still time.  He won't know if it isn't done when he comes home! lol His bag is packed and I have mine started....I know mine should be done but most of the stuff needs to go in last minute.  So when I am waiting for "contractions to be for 1 min every 5 mins for an hour and not able to walk or talk thru them" I will pack up the rest.  That is what my midwife told me I need to wait for before coming to the hospital.  I think that is easier said then done tho.  We have an hour drive and I am thinking by the time I get to that point I will not want to be in a car for an hour.  So we will see if I make it that far before leaving.  Anyone have any good suggestions for what to pack? 

I have the basics packed for me...
PJs
night gown
slipper socks
shampoo and conditioner
soap
granny panties
change for food/soda machines
breast pads
comfortable clothes

I will pack my hair stuff, toothbrush and those type of things right before. 

In Baby Boys bag I have....
few outfits for pics and coming home
receiving blankets
burp clothes
diapers
wipes
our marriage license so G can be on birth cert

So if I am missing anything you found handy please let me know!!

G has been working 2nd shift 7 days a week for about a month and since I work days I don't get to see her.  Only time we see each other is when we are sleeping.  That has made it hard to get things ready for Baby Boy which is a reason his room isn't done yet and we haven't bought everything.  She is wanting him to come soon so she can get some time off lol oh and because she just wants to meet him to.  We both do!! 

G was able to get some time a few weeks ago to take some bare belly pics.  These were taken at 36 and a half weeks in Baby Boys room

 

 

Haven't done this in awhile so why not?

 

How far along? 38 weeks 2 days

How big is baby? about 7lbs

Total weight gain: 36lbs

Maternity Clothes: wear maternity shirts and dresses but just bought bigger jeans and skirts

Have you started to show yet? Oh yea!! My belly is measuring a week ahead.

Sleep: Starting to get hard to sleep.  Get up to pee about 4 times a night.

Best moment this week: feeling all his movements.  He still moves a ton during the day.

Miss Anything? sleeping on my belly!

Movement: Lots and lots

Food Cravings: Chocolate!

Anything make you queasy or sick? no

Gender prediction: He is a boy

Name: All we know so far is his middle name will be James after my grandfather.

Symptoms: tired, back pain, sore feet, pregnancy induces carpal tunnel

Major purchases this week? pack and play

Looking forward to: seeing Baby Boy very soon!!


So the new thing I have been dealing with is the Pregnancy Induced Carpal Tunnel.  It's NOT fun at all.  My right hand is completely numb and both hands hurt very bad when I am sleeping.  Also I have lost strength in both hands.  Can't really hold or open anything.  The numbness during the day is better then pain I guess but it's so annoying.  Having that tingling feeling all the time drives me crazy.  Last night I burnt my hand cooking and didn't really even notice.  It didn't really hurt but I woke up with a blister.  I just do not have a lot of control of my hands now.  They tell me this will go away after delivery so I am really hoping so!!  I keep telling Baby Boy he needs to come ASAP! 

35 Week Ultrasound

Finally we got to see Baby Boy again.  Seems like it was years ago.  The appointment went well.  He is head down and has been for months actually.  Also my placenta is still out of the way so we are good to go for a vaginal delivery.  Which I feel good and bad about lol I know it's best for him to be born "naturally" but would be great to be able to just schedule when he's coming!!  We really can't wait for him to finally get here and are hoping he comes early.  Here are his pictures.  The 4d one actually didn't turn out too bad. 

4d pic of his face =)

Profile pic

His foot

They said everything during the Ultrasound looked good and that he weighs about 5lbs 10oz so that should put him around 8lbs on our due date.  That's bigger then I was thinking I wanted to push out but it could be worst!! lol The fluid is good as well.  So far I have gained about 32lbs.  I think my midwife told me she wanted me to gain 30-35 lbs so I think I might pass that but she hasn't said anything to me about it yet.  Gaining too much has never been a problem for me.  Actually before I got pregnant I couldn't gain weight even when I tried.  I was just telling G the other day that I am going to miss this appetite if it goes away.  Before pregnancy I didn't have a big appetite. 

We now start our weekly appointments.  Which is good because the end is near but more time I have to take off from work.  I don't get paid maternity leave so I have to use the time I have saved up and the more I use now the less I will have with Baby Boy.  With my midwife being an hour from our house and an hour and a half from work I have to take a full day off every time I have an appointment.   

We almost have everything ready for Baby Boy.  His room is pretty close to being done and all his clothes and blankets are washed.  I am working on getting a breast pump from my insurance company.  It hasn't been easy but when is working with an insurance company easy?  Now I need to call CHIP and see if we can get health insurance for Baby Boy too.  He can't go on mine and going on G's will cost a lot.  So I am hoping CHIP will work out but I need to call them!  We still have a few more things we need to buy as well that we didn't get at the baby shower.  But I am sure it will all come together in the end and if not we will make it work!!   

Wedding

At our Baby Shower I announced that we would be getting married the next day which was a surprise to most people there since only immediate family knew.  So yes we decided to get married.  It is best for Baby Boy and G.  Since we are delivering in NY State, G will be on the birth certificate right from the start.  Also if something were to happen to me G will be able to make decisions and be able to take Baby Boy home.  I really hope that doesn't happen tho!! 

We were married July 22nd at City Hall in NY.  It was very small and very short! It really was perfect tho.  Not much planning or stress.  Here are some pictures.  I was 34 weeks at the time.

 

 

 

I did my best with the pictures.  We were suppose to have a photographer but she backed out the night before so we didn't have time to get another.  So I had to steal pics from other people and edit them myself.  In the one pic that is our boxer Konner!

 

It was a great day and I can now call G my wife!  Still trying to get used to it.  Our marriage doesn't mean a whole lot in PA but we are hoping someday soon it will!  We both kept our last names and still will be hyphenating Baby Boy's last name.